freedom from confinement
The last few weeks I’ve been feeling kinda low.
Aggravated, irritated, grumpy, unmotivated and uninspired. Not quite postnatal depression. I’m probably too proud, too pragmatic and possibly too eternally optimistic to be depressed during times of happiness.
I’ve just been intensely frustrated about :
1) my “new-mother brainlessness”
2) my inability to THINK and coherently express ideas that are not directly related to babies
3) being cooped up indoors for a long period of time
4) the lack of time to myself, and
5) just the general imbalance of my life.
Man, I was so grumpy. It was really eating into me.
But that’s old news now.
This morning, I had an epiphany.
I decided that "feeling down" was really boring, and that it was probably time to do something about it. I turned to my husband and said, "Lets cancel tonight’s visitors. I want to eat junk food and drink lots of tea. YES, with Akki."
So off we went.
Akki gurgled on my lap.
Wes and I chatted and flicked through trashy magazines.
It was such a simple evening. Just hanging out in a simple place with the special men in my life.
I’m not entirely convinced that it had anything to do with junk food, or being out about town. But nonetheless, it kinda confirmed to me that yes, I can still be a groovy young chick even though I have a kid now. And for the first time since Akki was born, I felt absolutely thrilled about starting a life as a mum.
Aggravated, irritated, grumpy, unmotivated and uninspired. Not quite postnatal depression. I’m probably too proud, too pragmatic and possibly too eternally optimistic to be depressed during times of happiness.
I’ve just been intensely frustrated about :
1) my “new-mother brainlessness”
2) my inability to THINK and coherently express ideas that are not directly related to babies
3) being cooped up indoors for a long period of time
4) the lack of time to myself, and
5) just the general imbalance of my life.
Man, I was so grumpy. It was really eating into me.
But that’s old news now.
This morning, I had an epiphany.
I decided that "feeling down" was really boring, and that it was probably time to do something about it. I turned to my husband and said, "Lets cancel tonight’s visitors. I want to eat junk food and drink lots of tea. YES, with Akki."
So off we went.
Akki gurgled on my lap.
Wes and I chatted and flicked through trashy magazines.
It was such a simple evening. Just hanging out in a simple place with the special men in my life.
I’m not entirely convinced that it had anything to do with junk food, or being out about town. But nonetheless, it kinda confirmed to me that yes, I can still be a groovy young chick even though I have a kid now. And for the first time since Akki was born, I felt absolutely thrilled about starting a life as a mum.
