a new perspective
being engaged is something i never expected. i never saw myself in a position remotely close to marriage. yet here i am in a mutual agreement where we both have a common understanding that we will end up marrying each other. he is no longer my "boyfriend"... he's my "fiance". how funny is that? i still stutter when i introduce him to new people. "he's my boy... errr fiance..." or... "he's my... *pause* Wes..."
i really did feel like the figurative feline has caught my tongue for a second there. i even feel awkward referring to myself as a woman. let alone a woman who has gotten herself engaged.
looking back on past relationships, it seems that i had so much confidence on love. yet this time, i'm being so careful. am i being too careful i wonder?
i've known Wesley for a very long time. over half of our family members knew each other even longer. he has gotten himself very far in his career that he can leave his businesses running whilst he accompanies me on my hectic schedule and sudden trips to pursue my career. he is realistic, mature, tolerant, patient, very good looking, intelligent, gentlemanly and showers me with endless affection making me feel wanted and cared for. never for a second would he put anything else above our relationship and our families are very supportive of this.
although i have never dreamed i would even date a caucasian, i must admit that he is perfect and i'm finally really happy with no strings attached. not the naive-love type happiness, but more of the content, satisfied and un-burdened happiness.
so the question is... what's wrong with me?
maybe nothing is wrong. maybe the world's perspective of love has been distorted throughout time that it makes my sudden realization of the truth seem all wrong. what if love isn't that butterfly fuzzy feeling you get in your tummy and all those poetic jibber jabber; but instead, it's just plain and simple... trust, tolerance, comfort, patience, compatibility and contentment?
honestly, i am praying so hard that it's the latter. i'm not marrying for "love" in it's widely accepted meaning and i hope it's the right thing to do. i just want to get it right this time round.
i really did feel like the figurative feline has caught my tongue for a second there. i even feel awkward referring to myself as a woman. let alone a woman who has gotten herself engaged.
looking back on past relationships, it seems that i had so much confidence on love. yet this time, i'm being so careful. am i being too careful i wonder?
i've known Wesley for a very long time. over half of our family members knew each other even longer. he has gotten himself very far in his career that he can leave his businesses running whilst he accompanies me on my hectic schedule and sudden trips to pursue my career. he is realistic, mature, tolerant, patient, very good looking, intelligent, gentlemanly and showers me with endless affection making me feel wanted and cared for. never for a second would he put anything else above our relationship and our families are very supportive of this.
although i have never dreamed i would even date a caucasian, i must admit that he is perfect and i'm finally really happy with no strings attached. not the naive-love type happiness, but more of the content, satisfied and un-burdened happiness.
so the question is... what's wrong with me?
maybe nothing is wrong. maybe the world's perspective of love has been distorted throughout time that it makes my sudden realization of the truth seem all wrong. what if love isn't that butterfly fuzzy feeling you get in your tummy and all those poetic jibber jabber; but instead, it's just plain and simple... trust, tolerance, comfort, patience, compatibility and contentment?
honestly, i am praying so hard that it's the latter. i'm not marrying for "love" in it's widely accepted meaning and i hope it's the right thing to do. i just want to get it right this time round.
